Perspectives on Western Literature

To Mr. Andrew Marvell

a response to a certain advance

Dear Mr. Andrew Marvell
I hope you're thriving and are well.
I write to you only to say
You and I can't happen. No way!

Not that your poem is not preferred
But your argument is absurd!
Telling me my beauties should fade
Will never ever get you laid!

The time is indeed on the run
But learn some patience from John Donne!
Carpe diem can wait a while.
Rushing to things is not my style.

Moreover, it is impolite
To claim a lady as your right.
And last but not least I must stress
I'm not anybody's "mistress!"


Darcy and Lydia

musings on a certain literary romantic

If Darcy lived today
he'd be lured by the media.
He'd live a life of ease
and choose to marry Lydia.

You see, Lydia's fun.
She's not as headstrong as Lizzy.
Now, men don't want conflict,
they just want someone who's easy.

Lydia may not be
bold, clever, challenging, and brave.
But she sure can cook meals
using the newest microwave.

Lizzy's the type of girl
whose wits captivate and compel.
But who on earth needs wits
when Lydia can flirt so well?

Why fight for Lizzy's love,
who's clearly playing hard to get,
when you can readily
drive Lydia's uncle's corvette?

Why care for true beauty
which might be a myth after all?
For a touch of makeup,
even men like Darcy can fall.

Though Lizzy has fine eyes
and nobly trimmed, dusky tresses,
Darcy much more prefers
Lydia's revealing dresses.

Gone are the days of pride,
of Lizzy's grace and Darcy's stare.
Today it's all about
Lydia's hip, highlighted hair.

by Niloufar Behrooz
in volume 5 issue 2

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