Don't shake that Speare at me!

Bard Garb

Shakespeare found a well-placed cuff
When writing fight scenes just enough.
To set his mind; for romance, collars
Helped him rake in royal dollars.
When he mocked in sharp ad-libbin',
He wound about his neck a ribbon,
And wore his stiff and starchy ruff
When he wrote more solemn stuff.


The Original Fanfiction

Fanfic may not be canon, but don't dare
Denounce it as dishonest, or declare
That it is unoriginal or, worse,
Suggest that it devalues Shakespeare's verse:
Remember, then, the Bard had sticky fingers
When it came to names or witty zingers,
And lifted storylines wholesale, it's said
From folks like poor old Mr Holinshead.
And if you'll visit poor young Willie's grave
(You'll tell it from the bust that needs a shave),
I'd wager that his grave itself was not
His own. He probably just stole the plot.

both by Daniel Galef
in volume 5 issue 2

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