A Dentist to Remember

Novocain

i remember spending a hell of a lot of down time
in the dentist's office as a boy reading that cartoon
"goofus and gallant" out of highlights magazine
where goofus was this kid who was always kind
of naturally messy and sticking his head into other
people's business and mischievous and couldn't
stay out of trouble and gallant this perfect little
neat and tidy good deed-doer who i always found
to be real obnoxious and aloof and couldn't relate
to and just always felt goofus wasn't half-bad and
just got a bad rap and misunderstood and really never
understood the comparison as the hygienist would just
suddenly show up out of nowhere and call my name and
i'd go in sulking feeling eternally guilty and lonely and
down-in-the-dumps making up shit about my childhood
and sports and small talk and bullshit and stuff like that
or how many times i actually brushed my teeth (not close
to the amount of times i jerked off) and always felt she
could see right through me and would always end up
whipping out that big massive set of teeth and tooth-
brush and show me how it really needs to be done.

by Joseph Reich
in Volume 1 Issue 2

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