Monday, December 29, 2014


Kubla Can't
with a nod to Samuel Taylor Coleridge
If Kubla Khan did currently
his stately pleasure dome decree,
he'd first need to get permission
from the planning board commission;
and only if his building specs
had all been duly scanned and checked,
and sent out for neighborhood review,
to the City Clerk of Xanadu.
Still—he'd run afoul of codes
that set the arches' max stress loads;
the caves of ice would have to go—
not ecological, you know.
And as for "deep romantic chasm,"
unless it's wetlands, no one has 'em!
He'd be lucky to build at all
near anything alluvial,
what with riparian set-backs,
he'd never get his cul-de-sac
near any "sacred river." Ha!
Much less a sex basilica!
"He wants a pleasure dome? Good lord!"
protest the neighbors and school boards,
"There's zoning laws for porno sites!"
Fat chance he'd ever get the right
to build on ground where children gather;
a "lofty" plan would fare no better:
he'd find out there's no "laissez faire"
if he tried to build the dome in air!
He's drunk on milk of Paradise,
but our zoning board will set him right.

by Catherine McGuire
in Volume 3 Issue 2
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