wreckage

Ozzy Mandias (My Latvian Mechanic)

with apologies to Percy Bysshe Shelley

I met a mechanic from a Baltic state
who said: 'Your exhaust is riddled with rust
and won't last long. Your battery's not great
and it appears your reversing light is bust.
Oh, and your radiator does not radiate.
Trying to fix this colossal wreck would be a mistake.
Even if I were to work from now until June,
morning, noon and night, without taking a break,
there is no hope of passing the NCT*
with this Nissan Almera 1997 four door saloon.
My advice to you is to bring it down the beach
with axle bent and side mirrors gaily flapping
and bury it somewhere deep and out of reach,
for frankly it's not even fit for scrapping.

*NCT—the obligatory car test in Ireland

by Peter Goulding
in volume 4 issue 2

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